God Has The Highest Good For Me, I Know...

Okay, I'm doing a quick post yet again for this day since my day is filled with hectic schedule, from school to an appointment/meeting with colleagues to dropping by some places for importat errands. I have to drop by at Yona's office at Circa to get an important document Ry had sent through his brother Rowell. By the way, Ry, thanks much! I owe you one for that. I also have to go to Peachy's house again to borrow some important documents which are necessary for my meeting later after lunch.

Anyway, back to why I am doing this quick post, I have browsed some Friendster pages this morning and I now realized I am regretting this action as it has done nothing but clouded my already shrouded/blackened emotions. Now, I am feeling very bad about something for the nth time, to the point that I am now holding back my tears. There's a huge lump in my throat that I am trying to gulp back with difficulty caused probably by the rising anger and pity in my heart.

After all those months, it still pains me a lot. I can't remember ever feeling this way. I can't believe this is happening to me. I don't know when I would ever overcome this nagging reality. I know it is unhealthy to wallow in anger and pity, not to mention that it could affect the precious thing I am carrying in my womb, but in times like this, I really can't help it.

There's always a time when I can't help but look back at what happened and wish I could turn back time or erase the memories so everything would go back to its normal life again. It is also during these times that I really need to gather all my strengths and guts so I can face all the troubles in my life. Or else, you will never see me smiling again.

There is no doubt that I can make things run the way I want them too, but I knew also that they

would not always be according to my will. All I know is that there is sunshine after the rain. Glory after sufferings. Light after darkness. And hope after pain. My baby and Yad alone are already one of the greatest blessings in my life. I am leaving it all up to God above. He knows what's best for me and He has this great plan documented in His book for my future. I may never knew it at this time, but I knew everything and everybody will be in the right places at the right time.

As what I would always say it: INSHALLAH!