God Has The Highest Good For Me, I Know...

Okay, I'm doing a quick post yet again for this day since my day is filled with hectic schedule, from school to an appointment/meeting with colleagues to dropping by some places for importat errands. I have to drop by at Yona's office at Circa to get an important document Ry had sent through his brother Rowell. By the way, Ry, thanks much! I owe you one for that. I also have to go to Peachy's house again to borrow some important documents which are necessary for my meeting later after lunch.

Anyway, back to why I am doing this quick post, I have browsed some Friendster pages this morning and I now realized I am regretting this action as it has done nothing but clouded my already shrouded/blackened emotions. Now, I am feeling very bad about something for the nth time, to the point that I am now holding back my tears. There's a huge lump in my throat that I am trying to gulp back with difficulty caused probably by the rising anger and pity in my heart.

After all those months, it still pains me a lot. I can't remember ever feeling this way. I can't believe this is happening to me. I don't know when I would ever overcome this nagging reality. I know it is unhealthy to wallow in anger and pity, not to mention that it could affect the precious thing I am carrying in my womb, but in times like this, I really can't help it.

There's always a time when I can't help but look back at what happened and wish I could turn back time or erase the memories so everything would go back to its normal life again. It is also during these times that I really need to gather all my strengths and guts so I can face all the troubles in my life. Or else, you will never see me smiling again.

There is no doubt that I can make things run the way I want them too, but I knew also that they

would not always be according to my will. All I know is that there is sunshine after the rain. Glory after sufferings. Light after darkness. And hope after pain. My baby and Yad alone are already one of the greatest blessings in my life. I am leaving it all up to God above. He knows what's best for me and He has this great plan documented in His book for my future. I may never knew it at this time, but I knew everything and everybody will be in the right places at the right time.

As what I would always say it: INSHALLAH!

Tame Me... If You Can

Can you tame me? Coz I doubt if you can. And if you think you can, how?

Forgive me, but there is no doubt in my mind that am really doubting if you can...

You see, it's gonna be hard because you yourself has not been a good example to me. How can you tell what is good for me when you did me wrong in the first place? How can you say that I am sheerly a stubborn woman, when it was you who enforced my mind to be always searching for truth, or my heart to become hard like I was never before? I am in utter confusion, my dear! You brought this on...

So sorry that I'm being hard on you during my difficult times.

I cannot always submit to you because I cannot pretend that I like submitting to whatever you say. I was willing to surrender once, but what happened? How did it go? How did things can go wrong this way?

Is there room for forgiveness? Is there any for me to lighten up to you? I am begging you, please tell me how... 'Coz it's always been hard to wallow in this dark pit of emotion. But, I admit, I still wanna be what you desire for me to be one day... even though I get so crazy b'coz of your craziness...

'coz you see?

...you are an important piece of my life.

But Dear One, I know, Inshallah!

God Is Always Good...

While I'm on my way home from school after taking part of the midterm examinations, negative thoughts flood my mind. Perhaps, it was due to my low emotions habitually contributed by this flu which I haven't fully recovered yet. There were several things running in my brain, some of which are relationship and future career. It saddened me to think that at my age, I wasn't yet in a stage I had thought 10 or 15 years ago I would be. It slightly depressed me to remember that I haven't taken cared of my life's future as I was supposed to, that's why I'm still here planted in a time I should have finished dealing up with a long time ago.

photo credit

But, you know, God is always good. Every time I feel this way, He opens my eyes when I am about to slip into a world full of regrets and sad thoughts. He lets me see things around so I would suddenly have so much to thank Him for. He warms my heart when anger and exhaustion are about to take over my consciousness so that I don't turn into a a person full of pessimism. He never permits me to be such. He showers me the love and care that I need, so that I don't give in to all these evilish thoughts. He embraces me so that when I feel alone, I end up feeling abundantly cared and loved for.

Whenever my emotions are so down because things have turned out not the way I wanted to, He guides me so I don't surrender with my fight to conquer my weaknesses. He whispers softly yet intently in my ears to tell me that He has plans for me. Good plans that would provide me the answers to the questions of the past. He talks to me so that I am reminded that no matter how many times I fail in every aspect of my life, there is something in store for me. Something that would complete me in the future. Something that would make my life more meaningful. And something that would define my existence here in a universe, called, Earth.

God Will Always Be Good...

AJA JIRL!

We Love Our Miming!

This is our Miming, the so much-loved pet cat in the household. All of us here love this adorable, cute little cat. It was always a source of joy for all of us, including papa and mama. Even if you don't want it, you would be surprised to find this cat climbing its way up on your lap. When it finds the right spot, it'd contentedly sleep on your lap as if it is its bed. Sometimes, when we are watching tv, it'd lay beside us and sleep peacefully. Miming just loves our company, and it seems it is contented by it. It's so sweet and playful. And if you notice it, it unconsciously loves posing before the camera:P
Our youngest sibling, Tito Jay (that's him babying Miming in his lap at the photo below), takes care of this bundle of cat-joy. He makes sure it is fed well and is clean by washing/bathing it with soap and water. He always makes sure this cat is loved at all times by constantly playing and talking with it. He simply loves pets. All of us do. And oh! It's not only Tito Jay who talks to Miming. All of us here talk to this cat as if it's a human being. Did I forget to tell you that this cat is also a friend of our pet dog, Simon Peter, aka Wardog? ;) Yes, it is. They get along very well, not so much like the other dog-cat relationship. Wardog wasn't around when we took this photos of Miming, so he's not included here in this post. But I sure will once I got time to take pics of Wardog.