August 19, 2009

One Web of Lies and Thousand More Faith and Trust

It's been ages since I posted an entry here. I know. There is no excuse. But now, I will start trying my best to be a regular postee in my own blog. Sounds an easy task, but man, that's become a tough one for me since I started dealing with drastic changes in my life for the past months. I am dying to have something to do during those times, something that will really take my mind off things.

But blogging became never one of them.

I should have paid attention to this blog, especially this one's become my sanctuary in the past when I wanted to blurt things up in the absence of my real best friends, never mind the fact that it's also provided me good monetary opportunities.

But if you know me, a master of procrastinating things and an expert of becoming sedentary for a quite a time, blogging, despite with all the goodness that it's brought on, will really just become a thing of the past.

Thank goodness that I have started eliminating these bad habits, and so far, so good... Now, I am trying to momentarily deviate myself away from my current predicaments.

It's good for me.

After all, I am gonna have another serious turn of my life, one that's sure to bring a not-so unfamiliar angles of future for me.

I have been hurting for the past months.
I have pitying myself for the past months.
I have been allowing anger to take hold of me for the past 3 months.
I have been letting all negativity to flow in me that I have become bitter and bitter as the days wore on and until I found myself doing nothing but cry in the middle of my solitude moments and making me despise one person each time.

For the most part, I would hate the lies webbed and entangled to us. But I realize, if not for my painfully naivete and little less careful manner, all this wouldn't happen.

And so, I am a little easier on you now. Just for the reason that I was also a part of it.

As they say, nothing and no one's accountable for what is happening to you, except you...


you are that person who started all of it.

So, don't blame me if I continue to blame you and hold accountable for the big part of all this

But don't worry, you little master-webber-of-lies!

I am a little alright now. And yes, though I can't believe it, YOU STILL HOLD A VERY SOFT SPOT HERE IN MY HEART...

After all the meditations and realizations, I decided I am making things even worse than it was by wallowing in self-pity. There's no good in living in what-has-been and what-would-have-been, or what-ifs and if-I-only-knew. I must live to look forward to the good things that will come out from all of this. This is God's perfect plan for me, and a perfect way to trust and have faith in Him even more today...

Before I am consumed by my own emotions of anger, hatred, regrets, and despise, I am moving forward. Just to show to you that I never surrender. Just to show to myself that I am still a child of God, whom will never leave me especially in the midst of storms. I am a woman, a strong woman. I will get by, will work through this situation just as gracefully and effectively as I always be.

Now, why don't I keep my attitude positive and hopeful? Let's see what happens next.

All Good Luck is in me!

"I Am A Strong Woman, Perfected By God In His Image!"