HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA MARY! goodluck to my physics exams today too...

It's the 8th of the month. And it's also the birthday of our Beloved Mama Mary.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA MARY! MAY YOU CONTINUE TO GUIDE AND EMBRACE US WITH YOUR LOVING HANDS!

It's also our first day of midterm exams. Well, it's actually the third (or fourth if they included Saturday) day. The midterm started on Wednesday, September 2, but since that day was declared as no classes, the first day was moved today. Thursday and Friday schedule of exams was retained as second and third, respectively. Anyway, I was just telling you this to show how is AUL when it comes to doing schedules and re-schedules hehehe.

So, since it's Mama Mary's birthday today, I know She will be guiding me during my entire Physics exams. I know you love me, Ever Loving Mother of all Filipinos! I love you too, my Mama Mary!

Happy Long Weekend Vacation!

It's a non-working holiday here in the Philippines! Not surprisingly, PGMA declared the burial of Ka Erdy Manalo, the 84-yr(?) old Iglesia Ni Cristo's leader!

It also means, no classes and midterm exams for us today! Yay!

Well, not entirely no exams as the day was only moved for tomorrow. So, I still gotta hit my notes else I'd flank my Physics.

Anyway, I just wish we are all having a happy long vacation!

Blog Revamped! Need Your Links Back!

Obviously, I have my blog newly revamped.

I didn't remember how tedious revamping a blog site can be until just now. The last time I remodeled this site was probably two years ago. The last 3months or so, this was left almost untouched, so I found myself starting from scratch.

You can just imagine the time I spent searching blogger templates, editing html stuff, moving widgets, and etc. Lucky for me, I found this newly-uploaded template from this source. If you want to remodel your site, you can find free templates from that website too.

Anyway, since I've changed the theme of this blog site, I've lost all the old widgets, links, and stuff including blog lists. So, if you want the link of your site added, kindly put your url in the comment section so I can add it again. For my co-bloggers and friends who know my YM or email, you can just buzz me the URLs of your site/s. I will gladly put them back.

Do you like my new template? I love it. It's called COFFEEDESK. I am a caffeine addict, so no need to explain, lol! Which makes me remember, I can't take any caffeinated beverage because of my condition not until february 2, 2010. Boohoo for that!

Back to topic, I still have got a lot to do with this site. I need to recover the old links, widgets, and banners from the websites I previously signed with. It will take more time to do that, but in the meantime, I will settle for what this site has for now.

Why I have revamped this site, you may ask? As I've mentioned from my previous posts, I wanna revive this blog for the second time. And this is just the start of all of it.

Once again, I am back to the blogosphere! So, welcome me, you there co-bloggers!

My Decision Will Be My Decision

He is not amenable to my decision of my moving out...yet. Says it is not safe for me since I would be alone most of the time when I finally move into the house. Despite my few efforts of convincing him, Yad still doesn't want to come with us because he's a heavy heart leaving mama and papa, plus his tito's.

Yad grew up closer to my mother than me because she was the one who raised and took care of him from the very first day he was born. I don't know how to convince him, but I know he's just in a state of shock. This is gonna be his first major change in his life after all; so I understand how difficult it could be for him.

As for him, I understand his point, because he would be gone most days of the week due to his business and other reasons. He is worried for my safety when there is no one to look after me when we finally move in to a new house. I am in a delicate condition right now, with my 4th going to 5th month expectancy.

Yet, I need this big decision because if not now, when would I ever start growing up and taking care of myself or learning how to care for my own family? Of course, as he would always say, I am always the same obstinate Jirlie. Stubborn mind in a naive, vulnerable small woman that I am.

So, end of the story?

After several attempts of talking me out of my decision, it is clear to him that no more conversation for this issue as I firmly made up my mind the moment I made it. Well, I hope so! In the meantime, I would continue looking for a nice place and start packing my clothes (and Yad's, for God's sake, he will come whether he likes it or not!) as soon as we find one. Period.

Soon, Moving Out - Big Decision, Big Step Of A Future

Middle Term Examination Week...

I can't believe it's less than two months before the semester ends. I thought I'll never do it, but way to go, I am at last very near it! You go, Jirl!

On another topic...

I am off to school in a little while to check my schedule of exams.

And also off to some places to look for a house for rent after school.

Yes, I am moving out.

Because I need to build a life of my own. Not under my parents' protection and care. Because I am no longer their only little girl who will continue to depend on them with every failure I make myself. I must learn to live on my own. I must learn to get by without their hands on me every time I stumble to the ground and am on my knees.

Besides, I am making my own family now. So, isn't it inappropriate for me to still shelter myself around my parents and brothers?

I am a little afraid, but hey! If others can, why can't I? I am also a little excited, but fear's a larger quantity of what's been creeping my thoughts since I've come to this HUGE decision.

But I know, I will learn. Maybe not from the start. But, eventually, I will be standing on my own two little, vulnerable feet. One person is guiding me, so at least, that helps me feel a little better.

Inshallah!

I'm gonna be back...

I hope to get back in the blogosphere! Soon, I will! After all this chaos of my life started simplifying itself, and then I will be here! Go Jirl!

One Web of Lies and Thousand More Faith and Trust

It's been ages since I posted an entry here. I know. There is no excuse. But now, I will start trying my best to be a regular postee in my own blog. Sounds an easy task, but man, that's become a tough one for me since I started dealing with drastic changes in my life for the past months. I am dying to have something to do during those times, something that will really take my mind off things.

But blogging became never one of them.

I should have paid attention to this blog, especially this one's become my sanctuary in the past when I wanted to blurt things up in the absence of my real best friends, never mind the fact that it's also provided me good monetary opportunities.

But if you know me, a master of procrastinating things and an expert of becoming sedentary for a quite a time, blogging, despite with all the goodness that it's brought on, will really just become a thing of the past.

Thank goodness that I have started eliminating these bad habits, and so far, so good... Now, I am trying to momentarily deviate myself away from my current predicaments.

It's good for me.

After all, I am gonna have another serious turn of my life, one that's sure to bring a not-so unfamiliar angles of future for me.

I have been hurting for the past months.

I have pitying myself for the past months.

I have been allowing anger to take hold of me for the past 3 months.

I have been letting all negativity to flow in me that I have become bitter and bitter as the days wore on and until I found myself doing nothing but cry in the middle of my solitude moments and making me despise one person each time.

For the most part, I would hate the lies webbed and entangled to us. But I realize, if not for my painfully naivete and little less careful manner, all this wouldn't happen.

And so, I am a little easier on you now. Just for the reason that I was also a part of it.

As they say, nothing and no one's accountable for what is happening to you, except you...

....BUT STILL... EVEN SO...

you are that person who started all of it.

So, don't blame me if I continue to blame you and hold accountable for the big part of all this

But don't worry, you little master-webber-of-lies!

I am a little alright now. And yes, though I can't believe it, YOU STILL HOLD A VERY SOFT SPOT HERE IN MY HEART...

After all the meditations and realizations, I decided I am making things even worse than it was by wallowing in self-pity. There's no good in living in what-has-been and what-would-have-been, or what-ifs and if-I-only-knew. I must live to look forward to the good things that will come out from all of this. This is God's perfect plan for me, and a perfect way to trust and have faith in Him even more today...

Before I am consumed by my own emotions of anger, hatred, regrets, and despise, I am moving forward. Just to show to you that I never surrender. Just to show to myself that I am still a child of God, whom will never leave me especially in the midst of storms. I am a woman, a strong woman. I will get by, will work through this situation just as gracefully and effectively as I always be.

Now, why don't I keep my attitude positive and hopeful? Let's see what happens next.

All Good Luck is in me!

"I Am A Strong Woman, Perfected By God In His Image!"